Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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