Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
