69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
