bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize