There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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