Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we made out on top of his cat.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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