Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
someone owes me an orgasm
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
