Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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