How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
