I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
