just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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