sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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