So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
