Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
