is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
