just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
