you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
