She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
