Its about making memories worth repressing
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
