Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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