He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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