Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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