Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hippo gnu deer
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
