problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize