i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
