I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
