Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
