Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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