We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
