I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
