if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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