My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize