You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
