I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Sacagawea was the original milf.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
