hotel room ftw
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
