Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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