He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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