I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
