I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
vagina is talking i cant
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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