so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
