he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
