dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
