You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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