is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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