The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
