Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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