I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
