Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
