I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
