I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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