so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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