im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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