mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
