I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
