So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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