Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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