I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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