Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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