Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
