the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
