Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
