i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
