its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My balls are so social today.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
