would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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