Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
