alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
