he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
