I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
