omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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