awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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