I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I have tasted many bathrooms
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize